LMBO…I had to laugh when I thought about writing this post. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to include this topic or not. For those of you that know me y’all know that when I talk about SEX, I am raw and uncut…lol. Well, I hope you’re ready…
Beware: This post has explicit content.
As I was reading Cosmopolitan (one of my favorite online mags), I stumbled across a story that basically talked about things that men say to get in between our legs. Haven’t you had a guy to tell you some stupid stuff just to see what you were working with? Some of the things I could relate to like let’s watch a movie. That is such a famous, lame, and bogus line. If that’s all the guy has to say, that may make me feel like he isn’t trying hard enough…I’m just saying… I digress- Anyway, I decided to make my own list and here is what I have come up with.
1.Let me hold you:
Ok! So what you really mean is that you want to feel all over my body. Squeeze a few things, rub on something, kiss on a spot or two only to get me to completely undressed so you can score!! Naw, I’m not a baby, you don’t have to hold me.
2. The infamous booty call:
This one is so funny to me. You just got my # and the first time you decide to call me is at 1am after you have gotten some gin in your system and left the club, you want me to let you come over to my place and ‘hang out.’ That’s for the birds…go get a young chick for that one…I ain’t goin’.
3. Let’s get in the bed…
Boy, are you serious? You came over my house just to get in the bed? Don’t you have one? Yeah right. I don’t even think this one needs an explanation…you get it.
4. Sit on my lap backwards…
Oh aite! You want me to sit on your lap so you can imagine how my @$$ would look…and then get me all hot and bothered? Naw bruh, I think I will pass.
5. ALL TIME FAVORITE: LET ME PUT THE HEAD IN
Ladies we can all agree on this one. You have had that dude that either didn’t have a condom (practice safe sex people) or since you didn’t want to have sex with him, he thought he could convince you to because the ‘head’ would feel so good that you would just want to. Who in the hell wants to put the head in?? If I’m gonna do it, we are about to go all the way, which is exactly what you want, but I don’t think so. Child please!
There is my list, and I know there are plenty more, but I can’t possibly include them all
What are some of the dumbest things that a guy has said to you to get you in the sheets?